Australian government cancels Nadal’s visa to avoid RAT shortage

Declaring that it lacked new and particular means to distract from its failure to plan the Omicron wave of the virus, the government confirmed that it would cancel the visa of crowd favorite Raphael Nadal, and had not ruled on the expulsion of Australian number one Ash Barty if that’s what it takes to distract from the COVID crisis.

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has said they have no choice but to launch the Spanish champion. “We re-announced a $3.5 billion tank purchase, destroyed diplomatic relations with France, said teachers should be fired because they were gay and totally upset the expulsion of the world number one from But while those things have worked as a distraction for a while, the fact is we still don’t have a RAT, the supermarket shelves are still empty and Peter Dutton’s monthly declaration of war with China is still n “Isn’t due until next week. So sorry Raph, you’re out.”

Immigration Minister Alex Hawke said Nadal’s choice was a simple decision. “The sensible thing to do with a popular player who has done nothing wrong would be to do nothing and let him play. So obviously we can’t do that.”

When asked if a war with Serbia was possible given the fallout from the Djokovic case, Immigration Minister Alex Hawke replied: “I hope so. A war would be a very big distraction right now.”

Nadal will be stopped on center court this afternoon.

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